insomniaic delusions (the poem)

I used to be able to leave behind consciousness

when I would turn out the light

I used to be able to fall to my pillow

and fall right to sleep every night

the voice in my head, now it gives me no quarter

it sure loves to talk about you

the time in my sleepy-faced state waxes shorter

I wake and I’m here without you

it seems like a mongoose was loosed in my cortex

it tears at my mental facilities

and coping with living without you’s not one

of my many intrinsic abilities

there still is the hope that I will find a way

to be rid of my feelings for you

the hope sometimes lingers inside of the chance

that I’ll end up with somebody new

it seems that an abnormal thing is beginning

to form deep inside of my heart

I’m starting to numb to the very idea of

you and me being apart

I guess all the simple advisers who told me

that all I required was time

have insight on all the inane inner workings

of me when I’m still in my prime

I’d write you a million and one pretty poems

I know it won’t shake you one bit

I have no abilities able to penetrate

deep, where your love likes to sit

there once was a time I believed in true love

I told myself you were the one

I find I’ve turned cynical now that I’ve learned

that a world without you is no fun

I’m sure I could hold you and love you again

if some day you indeed changed your mind

but you have to promise me with-out your fingers crossed

bad things won’t happen this time

(c) 2003 Jordan Baugher