|
1.29.04/21:54 squamous epithelial cells They live in your cheek. You can pick them up with a cotton swab and then extract your DNA and make a clone of yourself to do your homework for you (in the future).
The other day, Tuesday I believe it was, I was running down Cardiac Hill to catch a bus and I fell *splat* on my butt. It didn't hurt, but it humbled me and made me wet(ter) and cold(er). This screen capture from Earthbound, sometimes this is how I feel.
And that picture of the math toys is a hyperhypercube. Jean sent it to me. If you want an explanation of what a hyperhypercube is, you should go to her livejournal and find out.
1.26.04/20:40 righting wrongs by writing songs Usually, I come bearing pictures and anecdotes. Today it's all about work. Today you get a song, a short story, and a poem. Oh, and there are actually posts in the forum. How 'bout that.
[six days left] mp3 file 3.3 MB <lyrics>
This song is much better than the last one I think, but I'm hardly unbiased. Two of the verses are in Japanese, but I conveniently translated them on the lyrics page.
I might have told you about how hot my dentist is and how I have poor dental hygiene so I can spend more time with her. Or maybe I didn't. Maybe I shouldn't tell people things like that. Maybe. So here's a story about my dentist.
[dental adventure] short story
One last thing. The poem. I was forced to write this under duress. I'd show you the scars, or the little marks on my skin where the gun barrel was pressed into my shoulder after she fired the gun at the witness, but that would just be silly.
[portrait] poem
1.24.04/01:47 jordan's birthday It was yesterday. Thanks to those of you who called and sent me texts and e-mails and ceremonial African lion skulls. Your kindness is very much appreciated.
There's me with my oversized candle and undersized birthday cake. Actually, I wanted to use a regular birthday candle, but there weren't any and I had to improvise. Is that okay, Jean?
And today was exciting. I met really nice Japanese ladies at the bus stop who offered to tutor me in the language and make me yummy Japanese food. I can't wait to take them up on their offers.
I should be at work right now, but the roads are really bad. It's not the ice or the snow, but the low temperature making the salt useless. I was driving through my neighborhood where the road isn't even visible and some kids were playing in the middle of the street in the dark.
Just like lemmings, these kids.
I slammed on the brakes, and of course I went faster skidding than when I was driving and I almost hit them. So I decided that if I can't even get out of my neighborhood without almost killing someone that it's probably better to not go to Pittsburgh.
I went bowling with Megan yesterday, and I got a turkey. For me, that's like the best score I will ever get so I'm excited. I think I might retire from the sport while I'm at my peak. You know this already, but if you don't, a turkey is three strikes in a row. Also we watched cartoons.
And check this out: there's a dead spider wedged next to the F5 key on my keyboard. Should I be concerned about that? It's been there for three days. Something tells me if I had to pick a recurring theme for the week it would either be laziness or a propensity for saying the wrong things to cute girls.
1.22.04/18:49 the nihongo page Some of you have asked me what the Japanese page means in English. I have taken the liberty of using an internet page translator to answer your question. Here is the translated text of the Japanese page:
This is my ?????. Be and the ? and others plain gauze be. However, there are many plain gauze grommets, there is no ????, it is.
Second it is of Japanese of university grade. We would like to become the your ? ? ?, but it is you think that Japanese is difficult. The large quantity is catches direct. Because the Chinese character ?, it is difficult to remember, there is no at all. You think that hiragana, is easier.
The Japanese ? ? ? ? ? ?, three teachers teach. It is one where everyone is easy well.
Because my friend is not recognized this page, it can obtain in tomorrow, language makes. Now the ?, me and the Japanese and the Japanese student increase the reading ?. Just a little, it is the ? ?, it is. You think that it is funny?
And of course, that is maybe completely wrong. The real translation into understandable English costs three dollars, and I just can't afford that. On a very related topic, my Kansai app is finally dekita. Hopefully I will find out in a few weeks whether or not I got accepted. There are benefits and detriments either way. Like if I don't get accepted, then I don't have to get a second job, which is great, since even just one kind of sucks.
1.21.04/07:32 severe lack of sleep = me right now It occurs to me that I haven't done any site updates in something like a week. Actually, I've been intensely busy and I don't have anything new and exciting to post for you. So that creates an issue: would you, the reader, rather check here just to read me ramble and ramble about not sleeping in two days, or would you rather wait a few extra days until there is new stuff?
Quite a dilemma.
And I was checking through the options in my hosting account to see what kind of things I could add to the site that would be free and maybe interesting and I came up with this:
It's a bbs, one of those fun pages where you can make up a fake name and get some digs in at the things you don't like about...whatever. Just an experimental thing that I'm going to leave up for a week or two to see if anybody has any interesting comments. If not, then it's gone.
1.15.04/22:03 please indulge my naïveté It's just really too cold to do anything. I think my soul is frozen. I've been sending death threats to the weatherman, but it doesn't seem to be having any effect. All I want is nice weather, thousands of dollars, and the adoration of kawaii zyosee's. Is that too much to ask?
Check this out, I kind of changed the language settings on my digital camera into Japanese. But I can't really read all the characters, so maybe that's a problem. But I was able to figure out how to turn off the flash so I could take these pictures.
Still no luck with making the castle take off, as you can see. The framed poster is a chart I made of Katakana and Hiragana that I can look at for quick reference when I'm doing my homework. The pictures are passport-sized pictures I had to get for my Study Abroad application. Through luck and circumstance I ended up with six extra ones. If you would like one, please mail me a self-addressed and stamped envelope and two dollars for processing.
[12 Steps to World Domination] satirical manifesto
These are the 12 steps you must follow if you want to take over the world. Study this guide closely and you will surely not fail in your efforts to become the Supreme Ruler. Some people WILL take this seriously, so I took the liberty of including a BOLD DISCLAIMER to assure the confused ones that I'm not advocating treason.
I'm writing this short story called 'Peaches' that will be really foul and far from life-affirming. Even though it's a ways from done, I'm pretty proud of it.
Maybe you want to hear a story, eh? Perhaps you'd like to hear about a little boy who lived in a haunted house when he was seven years old. He was too frightened to ever sleep or even get up. He couldn't move. Not for anything, not even to go to the bathroom. So he wet the bed.
Were there really ghosts? I never saw one. But the old lady who lived there before us died there. My mom lived there with her daughter for awhile, and they both swear there were ghosts. The lady who lived there after they moved out was murdered by her ex-husband.
1.12.04/21:04 restofrantic tendencies So I went on a kind of date the other night with another Jennifer. I should've known it wouldn't work out just 'cause her name was Jennifer. It's my third bad experience with a Jennifer in just as many months. I need to date more Kristens, I have much better luck with them. When I came out here a few summers ago I went on a spree where I dated three Kristens and two Christines in the course of like four weeks. I miss being young and zyoonzu with the onna no kos.
The pictures detail my latest project. I took the supports off my desk so it would be lower to the ground and I would have to sit on the floor. I feel that if I'm slightly uncomfortable I might spend less time on the computer, plus it makes my room look bigger. I've been on this kick lately of trying to get closer to the ground at all times. It started with taking the frame off my bed and will culminate in me moving to Japan, where they just sleep on the floor.
[left-handed] mp3 file <lyrics>
The link above is to a song I've been working on. It's mostly done, but the version above has no chorus. This is because I'm still working on it, so bear with me. Incidentally, I really am left-handed, but the title of the song refers to the other meaning of the term, like 'sinister', like in the phrase 'left-handed cigarettes'. If you don't know what a left-handed cigarette is, you can e-mail me and ask me about it. Below is a link to a cover of another song I did for fun, while I was still in the recording mood.
[i try (macy gray acoustic cover)] mp3 file
If you're still not content, I have more for you. There are more Nara Sensei quotes on the quotes page. I'm thinking of writing a book of Nara Sensei wisdom, and I try to get at least a few quotes from every class I have with him. Another thing I'm doing is keeping a tally of how many times my art teacher keeps saying 'and so forth' at the end of EVERY sentence. Today's count was 26, and Wednesday's was 34. That is MORE than once every two minutes. The only reason I keep going back is because my art teacher is incredibly fine. And so is my TA. It's good to be back in school.
!!BONUS!! - There is a completely new song in the song downloads section, independent of the two above. It's one that I wrote awhile ago but never got around to recording. Try and guess which one it is.
1.8.04/20:29 the men behind the curtain The title of today's post just happens to be the name of a new short story I wrote. I know I'm not the only one who theorizes that there is more to the current Washington regime than we suspect, but here is my personal idea of what is going on.
[the men behind the curtain] short story
If the site mysteriously goes down or if I disappear or go to prison, you will know that I'm right. If none of these things happen, it will mean that they are afraid to silence me for fear that it will give credibility to my crackpot idea.
Damn. I hate to get political, hate to let something stupid like politics interfere with my creative energies, with my website, with my psyche, but wow. How can someone like Dubya suck so blatantly at life and be allowed to stay in office? He can't even pronounce WORDS.
Anyway, read the story. If you think it might even be half-true, send the link to your friends. Spread the truth. Take a small step towards liberating this nation from its tyrannical leaders and the enmity of the rest of the world.
Or something like that.
1.05.04/23:42 demonic toy
This is a terrible creation. It seems innocuous enough if you just look at the box and the picture to the right, but be warned, something evil has been wrought from plastic.
At first, you think, 'Hey, McFlurrys, in my very own home, what could be better than that? Can't be any worse than that E-Z Bake oven my little sister had.'
Wrong.
What they don't tell you is that this thing requires two and a half cups of salt, is messy as hell, and makes less goop than I do when you're all done.
For starters, the directions are BACKWARDS. They actually tell you how to take it apart. Which would be great, if it came ASSEMBLED.
You are better off just setting yourself on fire instead of attempting to have a good time making your own McFlurries. If you are craving one that badly, either go to McDonalds and get one, or just buy some ice cream and some sprinkles and leave them on the counter for about twenty minutes until the mix becomes the right consistency.
01.05.04/16:50 onset of dementia So I was talking to my imaginary friend. I said to him, 'Why do I continue to wander through this vale of tears? I want out.'
He said, 'Prove it, then. Do something blatantly self-destructive.'
And I did. And he said, 'That's weak. Some people do that seven times a day. You're going to have to do better than that.'
Which brings us to the present. This new year isn't getting off to a very good start.
Initial Estimate Revised Estimate Parts $ 1.99 $181.91 Labor 79.00 206.95 Tax 4.68 23.16 ______________________________________ Total 82.67 413.02
He said I needed new tires to pass inspection because my belts were broken. I don't know what that means. Maybe I should've taken vo-tech classes in high school...
Blah. Cars are overrated, especially in Pennsylvania. The only reason I care about this is because in Indiana, I wouldn't have to get inspections OR new tires that I don't need.
Enough about that.
And I can't seem to stop playing literati, even after I got my pipes cleaned by some old lady who came out of nowhere with the 21 point words. Komatta naa.
01.02.04/06:54 the year of the trouser-mouse In Japanese, Akimashite omedeto gozaimasu! is the equivalent of Happy New Year! I don't know about happy, but it's certainly been interesting so far.
The last three days, for me at least, have been passed in a haze of alcohol, nicotine, diphenhydramine, and strange dreams. Some of these strange dreams were real, and others were not. In some of the unreal ones I saw fantastic little creatures that would make you pause with wonder, and all I can remember thinking is that I wished I had my digital camera so I could show them to you, but I guess that's a little impossible. It kind of reminds me of High School.
[lucky strike] short story
But enough about all that unpleasantness. I finally finished reading Kingdom of Fear, and now I'm delving into a fat stack of books Mr. Strange prescribed for me, which brings me to my next revelation: The 10-writer Research Project. I want to be a better writer, so in order to improve my technique and maybe learn a little something, I am going to study 10 writers' work and style. They are:
Denis Johnson Chuck Palahniuk A. M. Homes Haruki Murakami Raymond Carver Roald Dahl Flannery O' Connor Louis Sachar Hunter S. Thompson Kurt Vonnegut
The ones on the left are writers other people think are important, and the ones on the right are writers I think are important. The project will be pretty much like the one I had to do for Creative Writing, but more in-depth. Each author will get a thorough evaluation and a 10 page imitation. Once I am finished, I will see if I can't revise some of my own short stories and make them better with my plethora of newly-acquired knowledge.
And I realized I told you all about my Florida pictures but never linked them. Sorry 'bout that. If you are wondering where December's posts went, try looking in the archives. And if you're ever standing on the corner waiting for the bus in sub-freezing weather and a cute girl offers you a ride home, don't go. It will only end badly with her crapping on your heart in front of dozens of people you've known since childhood. If you want an account of that in gross detail, you should read the short story posted above. Avoid it if you're easily offended by foul language.
|
|
