3.27.04/17:38  down in the park                        

I was like 5 or 6 i think. I was visiting my grandma, and I was running down the street with pointy ears taped to my mickey mouse hat and a paper raccoon tail taped to my butt. I thought if I ran fast enough I would be able to fly. And then a kid on a bike stopped to roll his eyes at me in disapproval. That's how I met Jesse.

15 years later, he's still giving me that same
look, because I still think if I run fast enough I might be able to fly.

There IS a reason why I told you that anecdote.  It's because Jesse is visiting from Phoenix this week.  It's his Spring Break or something.  Kid called me at 7am yesterday and we went to Eat'n'park for breakfast.  Good times.  It's not every day one gets to eat breafast-type food at the real time for it.

[goldfish cocktail] short story

And this is just a little story I've been fooling with over the weekend in between patients.  Maybe I'll rewrite it or use it for something else, I don't know yet.  The title came from an article I read about an art exhibit.  I won't tell you what happened, though.  It might ruin the surprise.

These pictures.  I climbed up to the roof today to get some shots of my neighborhood while it's actually nice and sunny for once.  The one on your right a few paragraphs above this is my backyard.  Immediately to your right is my neighbors' house.  The one in the paragraph above this has my park behind it.
 

3.26.04/00:14  stale and checked                       

I wrote a poem.  It's not really about anything or anyone, but the first two lines popped into my head right before I fell asleep the other night, so I wrote them down and saved them for later use.

[stale and checked] rhyming poem

And I have this big freaking blister on my foot from walking all over campus and back and forth through work today.  Unless you're totally clueless as to how one gets rid of a blister, I would definitely advise you NOT to watch this video clip of how I'm resolving this.

[blister] 6.4 MB <kinda graphic>

First you sterilize the needle, then you pop, then you scream like a little girl.  But ah, the relief afterwards is great.  If you really did download this and watch it, wow.

I think I need to find a new job.  I subbed in for someone else tonight and remembered why I do the midnight shift and not the evening shift.  It's because the evening shift sucks.  There were like seven thousand people, mostly addicts and vicious teenagers and it's just so daunting to have more people in the emergency room than you can fit on the dry-erase board.  And now I'm done ranting about that.  I'm at peace.

3.23.04/20:55  retaan of zee nicotine feest            

You are sitting on the bus, and you are completely nauseous.  Your stomach is churning from some sudden and violent thing that makes your gut throb.  The driver seems to have a penchant for slamming on the brakes at every stop, and you know you're going to toss your cookies soon.

But you get to your stop.  You run from the bus to your car and drop your stuff just in time to spill your guts all over the grass.  And you look up.  And the driver has stopped the bus and all the people you just rode with are looking at you and that driver has hopped from his door to ask if you're okay.  No, you're not embarrassed, not at all...

I felt much better after I yacked.

So, uh, other than that today was pretty good.  I can't wait to finally do some work on this next nicotine fist album with Crazy Matt and do some fast-paced lyrical screaming.  Good times with the writing and the geetarring and the whatnot.

[unkindest cut (live)] wma file, 1.4 MB <lyrics>

Speaking of music, here are some tracks that have just been gathering dust on my hard drive.  Perhaps you will enjoy them.  It seems playing in front of live humans isn't as easy as it could be, but I'm glad to have the practice.

[spin (live)] wma file, .8 MB <lyrics>

For the past week my computer has been acting all crazy-like, so I downloaded some programs to exorcise its digital demons.  Damn internet is crawling with the spyware and the Gator software and the like.  I told Gimpy (my computer's name) to quit being such a whore and maybe she wouldn't get infected.  Some girls you just can't talk to.  Sheesh.

Check out the shoes.  I did some kaimono-therapy today and got myself some new stuff that makes me happy.  I re-acquired irresistible bliss and bought a double disc with live dispatch.  I know I can't afford it, but these are things for my soul, things that will greatly improve my disposition.  So I think I can make an exception, no?

And today's beard rating is: stubble.  Let me explain the 'beard rating system' I came up with today in the effort to grow back my fierce facial hair.

Shadow is the lowest rating.  It comes from the expression 'five o' clock shadow' and takes about a day to get going.  The next level is stubble, which is self-explanatory.  From there we go to scruff, then to Musashi.  (Musashi was an unshaven samurai.) The next level is Jesus.  And the final level is zz.  Like ZZ Top.  I'm shooting for something between Musashi and Jesus. 

3.21.04/13:09  post-dramatic stress disorder...sort of 

'Isn't it supposed to say traumatic?', you might be asking yourself.  Ah, but it's over.  Everybody is happy, everything is smooooth.  Instead of salty water, I'm sweating battery acid.  My head expands and contracts in time with my pulse, and Grandma says she has no sympathy for me.  So I went and played DDR for an hour after I took my suit back.

I really need to get better at dancing.  Last night, my nine-year-old sister was tearing up the dance floor.  If she can do it, I should be able to, I think.  This week I dedicate myself to becoming more zyoozu.  Bride and her brother ->

And here are some more pictures.  What we have, from left to right are: Chubbs in my suit jacket, Megan and Chelsea dancing, a picture of Sam my sister sent me, Chelsea and Sam at the reception, and last is the great present Stephie got for me because she is awesome and great and other fun things. 

And I'm pretty happy with the pictures I got yesterday.  Uncle Matt justified my existence my randomly playing the drums in the chapel for like thirty seconds and it was great.  That's what they should expect when they make us get there two hours early and not take pictures until right before it starts.

But I don't know.  I think all I really want is to get to the point where I don't care what people think about me.  In that department, I probably got a lot of points for acting like a fool and trouncing around all sloppy-faced in front of my family, but I definitely lost a few points for eating the christ chex and drinking blood.  Oh well, what can you do?

3.17.04/23:59  yet another st. patrick's day           

Exactly one year ago tonight I was at Cumpie's in Oakland vomiting up green beer.  We each did 3 double-shots of 151 and then we went out drinking.  I haven't really been drunk since that. 

I'd like to start my routine tonight by saying that Sean is a cool cat.  He left me the greatest message ever on my birthday and is one hell of a nice guy.  And he's a MEMBER.  Mom and Sean.  Good times. 

Today's just been a strange and awful day.  All this nonsense with this wedding is just giving me such a big freaking headache.  It will be fun, though.  I'm pretty excited about it.

Boku no obasan wa, Doyoobi ni Sewickley de kekkon-suru n desu.  Kinyoobi wa, rehearsal ga aru kara, EALL Spring Fling ni ikemasen.  Komatyatta naa.  Zyuugyo mo ikenai ka mo siremasen.  Kekkon no ato de, nomisugiru tsumori desu.  De mo, obasan ga kyooki ni natte-iru.

3.15.04/16:25  love and nitroglycerine                 

Four girls.  That's how many girls have ever told me they loved me and I actually believed them.  And I don't mean middle school talking-on-the-phone kind of love either.    Anyway, this girl said she loved me the other day.  I'm skeptical, but I'm willing to make exceptions for redheads.  They're my weakness, you know.  In Japanese, there are two main words for love: suki (physical love/strong affection) and ai (the deep, marriage kind).  You could say daisuki if you really liked someone, but it still lacks the punch of ai.

So these pictures.  I guess I should explain.  This is me playing DDR in the Beaver Valley Mall while they were changing my oil.  It's only 50 cents per game there, and today I beat my first 4-foot level.  It was incredibly exciting.  Jean, I hope you're proud of me.  I know these pictures didn't turn out very well, but I didn't trust anyone enough to make them take shots of me and messing with the timer and correct angles is hard to do while you're dancing.  Something to consider for next time.

3.12.04/06:38  people are tomatoes                     

That is true wisdom right from the guru's mouth.  I don't know what it means exactly, but I remember it.  So check me out, I'm slightly hung-over, very unshowered, and I've been wearing the same clothes for two-and-a-half days now.  It's not spring break until you end up hung-over and dirty.

[jason barker plays bach] 10.4 MB

I always tell you how good this cat is at geetar, well, here is the proof.  It's a 30 second clip of Jason jamming classical.  He says he might come to PA next week, and there's talk of making a full-song-video, so that should be pretty interesting.

About this trip I went on, it was good times.  Shelbyville is still stagnant and crushing the souls of those who live there, Bloomington is still fun and interesting, and the state of Indiana has let me escape with my life yet again.  These are all expected and positive things.

On the drive back, I thought up about a page and a half of great things I was going to put in this post.  But I haven't slept in about 22 hours, so those things have all been forgotten.  Let me conk out for 14 hours and maybe I'll be able to recall a little bit of it.  Oh, and that Wafflebob Plaidface is now my arch-nemesis, too.  We will be writing angry letters about that to the people at Post.

3.6.04/17:40  haru-yasumi ni natta!                    

Did you ever have a long, detailed dream that you weren't in?  You just watch it like a movie, powerless to change the strange things that are happening to your characters.  That happened to me today.  And I didn't know any of the people.  I think I got someone else's dream by mistake.  I wonder if that's even possible.

[blind girl, part 1] short story

I'm so happy that it's spring break.  It was incredibly nice yesterday, and I was actually sweating from atmospheric heat for the first time in eight months.  Good times.  I wrote that story last night.  Eventually I will write the second part, but that seemed like a good stopping point. 

Oh, right.  The frog.  That's from a news article I was reading at work last night.  I've been doing lots of surfing lately, finding a few things that have delighted me immensely.  Like this and this.  They have it in Klingon, too, but I don't care about that.  Maybe one of you LOTR fans should volunteer and make one in Elvish.

3.5.04/00:39  thirty-nine past                         

I didn't even know I was ticklish there.  Well, maybe ticklish isn't quite the right word.  Maybe vulnerable is a more appropriate term.  Either way, it's been noted.  In the future, I will have to watch out for that.

You hear the crunch of cinders beneath your shoes.  You hear the echoing of cars driving on the main road in the distance.  This is my neighborhood at 1am.  It's just me and the open windows with televisions shining in darkened rooms.  If I walk up to the top of the hill, I can see the fog lights of the cop in the Crystal Gardens parking lot waiting to clock speeders.

Sometimes you have to gorge your lungs on the night air.  Sometimes you have to step back and put things into perspective.  Sometimes it's good to not be crazy, not be evil, not be malicious.  Sometimes.

I went and saw The Butterfly Effect with Megan tonight.  It was pretty good, I think.  They did a good job of making me believe Ashton isn't completely brain-dead.  But I just know they're going to make a sequel about his father's experiences and call it something dumb like The Butterfly Effect .5, or some comparable title.

And I am still the Jedi master.  Ha.

Sunday is my big trip to the 'ville.  Don't expect any posts for a few days, I mean, not that you normally would, since I'm kind of sketchy about things like that, but it's just something to keep in mind.

I don't know about Kansai yet.  I have a meeting with Don tomorrow so he can have concrete things to put in my letter.  That guy writes some pretty profound stuff, and I feel that someday he will be well-known.

That's it.  Either tomorrow or Saturday I will put up a new song and a new short story if it's done.  There may even be a new movie, if I'm feelin' froggy.

3.2.04/21:24  bongo madness                            

I'm scared to do anything outside in my neighborhood because I have such nebby neighbors.  For those of you not from the Pittsburgh area, nebby is derived from the native term nebnose which means 'one who is prone to getting all up in Jordan's business'.  Probably you know someone like this.

 [17 second bongo solo] 4.98 MB

This is just me and my trusty hand drums, laying down some beats.  I'm an avid enthusiast of rhythm, and someday I hope to acquire some.  For now, this will have to do.  Like the others, it's a big file and you shouldn't download it unless you've been blessed with high-speed or cable or DSL or anything better than what I have.

3.1.04/00:00  mmm...sacrilicious                       

You may have noticed an inconsistency in the date above this post. This is because peachycomics.com and our affiliates do not recognize February 29th as a real day. The reason we choose not to observe this particular holiday is purely religious and is not meant to discriminate against those poor bastards who happen to have a birthday on said imaginary day.

So check out this picture Chubbs gave me. Her art teacher said it was the best CD cover project she's ever seen. For now, I will ignore the fact that her art teacher was my art teacher too and I also did a pretty freaking good CD cover. Maybe it's because mine was Kerplunk!, which wasn't very hard...

Then she im'd me at 2:30 this morning and demanded that I write a poem about how she eats boys' hearts.  Here it is.

[merciless] rhyming poem

I've been busy this weekend, writing lots of stuff. This is a little short story I've been tinkering with, something to keep you simmering until I can come up with something truly offensive.

[drifter] short story <graphic>

And the February posts are gone forever. Unless you go to the archives. Then you can see them again. You can see that cool Mortal Kombat picture I spliced myself into, or hear that great acoustic version of that one song. Right.