nara sensei quotes

"Robbing a bank...doesn't do you any good.  Especially if you fail."

"I don't have direct access to his brain.  I'm not Spock."

"If you're interested in warrior culture, there's a lecture, today at 2:30.  Doesn't mention any food, but..."

"I guess she's like Steve Martin.  At least, that's what I think."

"I bet it's spiked.  With all these chemicals.  It's very delicious."

"You don't usually walk around naked in the hallways,  because if you did that at the Motel 6 you'd probably get arrested."

"I used to say it was to keep foreigners from Japan, but I'd have to say it's not working."

"You may not actually use this unless you work for McDonald's or some business like that."

"Pant legs are usually open, but socks, socks are usually closed."

"It's for when you want to focus on how contrite you are.  'I'm sorry, let me go seppuku thing right here.'"

"You can see what happens when the temperature goes up five degrees.  Just wait until April comes and we all start going nuts."

"You've got to wash your hands and not do suck on your thumb and things of that nature."

"It tends to, it's like a sponge, so it sucks out Japanese.  And you know where that goes..."

"During this renovation to retrofit this 1935 building for 2004."

"In the workplace, to make money.  Where they can fire you if they don't like you."

"For those of you who are losing hair, this is a good chance to re-grow some of those hairs."

"Look at this, at this lush growth here, and, wanna see my leg?"

"It'll work.  It sounds precious, though."

"The person I drank from didn't taste good."

"You may be wondering why.  Are you wondering why?  I don't know the reason."

"I don't want to say everything in one sentence, because that is really stressful on my brain."

"It's an antique, so don't touch it with your grubby hands."

"People do walk on train tracks.  Did you know that?"

"There's one that stops everywhere, and it's really slow.  But it's picturesque."

"We have a lot to blame on the Chinese, and I hope you're not offended."

"I guess when you American guys came and gave us a constitution we thought that was pretty cool, pretty precious."

"We have a lot of national holidays, a lot.  But none in June. Terrible."

"I always think of this as like eating a hot dog.  You put sausage in the bun.  The hot dog is a full edible entity, it's embedded."

"CIA?  Am I a CIA agent?"

"No, I was not in one of those interview programs.  I am very happy to say that."

"Maybe I should tell you one thing you may not know."

"You'd better not come to close to me because I have a cold, a different brand of cold."

"Today's show-and-tell involves a living subject, which is me."

"If you see people picking up gingko nuts they're not crazy, they're just probably Asian."

"Are you the live specimen?  Are you my show and tell?"

"I never had anything like this, I was very poor."

"Receiving is always giving at the same time."

"That's good to keep in mind, always stay on your knees."

"In my dialect, my superior dialect, we tend to use this 'de'.  But that's just us, us better people."

"To do that correctly, I have to go to the bathroom, it will take about 30 seconds."

"I wet it with H20, no more."

"We are not really involved in the process of drying, I mean, it just sort of does that by itself..."

"What is the naughtiest thing you did in Japan?"

"I just saw a photograph of it, but that does not really tell you much about anything."

"Lots of people have gone to Japan, and they come back with savings...or they bought stuff.  Lots of stuff."

"It has to involve some kind of slurping, disgusting action."

"Roads are not straight, usually, they just sort of go anywhere, everywhere..."

"One thing you don't do is to stick your chopsticks like that.  It's really grotesque, people will faint and run out of the room."

"Roads are not named, except big highways, usually, but you don't walk on big highways so that's not really useful."

"You shouldn't travel from one dish to another, looking for things."

"Being neat is a good idea.  It's like shaving every day...which I sometimes forget to do...like brushing every day, showering once a week."

"You can start things in the basement, not start a fire, and still come out ahead."

"Children's books are very difficult actually, you know."

"That works...just mumble something that sounds Japanese."