frequently asked questions

What's 'Guy Fawkes Day'?

Every November 5th, the British celebrate this holiday where they set off bottle rockets and eat muffins because in 1605 a man named Guy Fawkes supposedly perpetrated a plot to blow up King James I and the English Parliament.  I find it completely hilarious that they celebrate a holiday named after a terrorist by blowing stuff up and compare the idea to if the US instituted a 'Timothy McVeigh Day.' 

What does 'MFP' mean?

If you do a search of my name in the Pitt Peoplefinder, it displays my nickname as MFP.  This started as a joke in Japanese class one day when we were practicing pronouncing English words in Japanese.  It sounded something like masutaa fakkingu piimpu. 

What kind of recording equipment do you use for your songs?

Most of the older songs were done with my Midnight Blue Mexican Strat and a dynamic unidirectional microphone running into a Tascam Portastudio 414 four-track recorder and straight into musicmatch as line-in tracks.  The later ones were mixed on the 4-track with separate microphone tracks for vocals and acoustic geetar, and were then run into the computer.

Thank you, Mr. Wizard.

You're welcome.

Why do all of your stories take place in D'Starkville?  Is it a real place?

D'Starkville is located in the middle of the southern half of Indiana.  I stopped at a Wendy's there once to use the restroom when I was on my way to IU.  I thought it would make a good name for a city in a fictitious story and the name just stuck.

Why does it burn when I pee?

A doctor might be better qualified to answer that than me.  In my humble medical opinion, I would simply tell you to stop drinking fire.

Do you know where I can get some adderol?

On average, 75 people are directed to this site every week because they did a google search for 'adderol'.  If you're one of these people, I can't help you.  I don't know why the googlemeisters sent you here, but I certainly don't have any drugs to sell you.  Same to you people who keep asking to buy tapeworms for the purposes of dieting.

Your copyright stuff says Jordan R. Baugher.  What's your middle name?

Raymundo.  I have Spanish great-grandparents.

What does your buddy icon say, and what does that mean in English?

It's hiragana for boku ga himo, which translates directly into English as: 'I have an extreme affinity for velvet suits'.

Why peachycomics?  Couldn't you have chosen a more masculine adjective?

The term peachy has a stigma attached to it due to its association with people who don't know how to use it properly.  It is meant to be uttered sarcastically, like by someone who crashes their car into a tree and realizes the gas tank is about to explode, and the last words they utter are:

"Well isn't this just peachy?"

Seriously, man, it's been like SIX MONTHS and there still isn't ONE comic, what's the deal?

I'm lazy.  Deal.

Does anybody even look at this site?  I mean, really...

Well, you're here.

What the hell is this 'Discount City' place you keep referring to?

Discount City is the former name of Wal-Mart.  It's even still on some of the shopping carts.  Look sometime.

Some of the poems and songs aren't hyperlinked.  Why is this?

To be thorough, I included the names of all the works I feel represent my best efforts so far.  Even though the file isn't linked, it is actually lurking about on the site somewhere, but there is some extenuating circumstance preventing me from unleashing it on the general public.  If you ask me nicely, I may give you a link to said file.

[slopey, daxotrope, etc.] isn't a real word...I even looked it up at dictionary.com and it wasn't there.  Do you just make up words for the fun of it?

Yes.  There is a glossary for these words.  It's in a constant state of revision and updating, so check back every so often to see if anything new has been added.

If you were a superhero, which one would you be?

I don't waste my time on hypo-pathetical questions.  But if I were forced to choose, I would have to say...Gambit. 

What genre of music do you like?

Just asking someone this question demonstrates a complete lack of understanding of the fundamental elements of good music.  If a song is good, it shouldn't matter what genre it's in.  Though I must say I'm not too fond of any country music.

You suck.  So does your site.

To be fair, that's not really a question.

I saw your album cover where you drew yourself as a cartoon.  Can you draw me as a cartoon?

Yes, but it will cost you ten dollars.

I've met you, and you swear a lot.  Why don't you swear in your daily updates?

Hell if I know.  Also, that's not true...sometimes I say 'damn' and 'bastard'.  'Bastard' is such a cool word.  It has a nice phonetic punch to it.

Why do you keep saying things in Japanese?  I DON'T SPEAK JAPANESE!  Why must you torture me in this way?

Saa...wakarimasen nee.  Nihongo wa kiree desu nee.

Who was the inspiration for [insert title]?

Every single song and poem is inspired by Janine.  I drink her up.  Actually, most songs aren't inspired by anyone or anything specific.  I just like to pick things that rhyme and flow and have rhythm.  (And the Janine cited above is the one from the Mike Doughty song, not King's.)

Do you have any other FAQ pages on this site?

Yes.  There's a [music FAQ], a [Daikon Warrior Comics FAQ], and a [Daikon Warrior Game FAQ].

(c) 2005 jordan baugher